JOKES

A Doubt in Mahabharat...
(<>_<>) *Never thought before...:* (<><>)

In some remote village of India, one masterji is teaching the Mahabharat katha to class 6 students. He is at the 'krishnajanma' part of it.

Masterji: "Kansa heard the akashwani that his sister's 8th child is going to kill him. He was furious. He ordered to put vasudev n devki behind the bars.

First son is born, and kansa kills him by poisoning... Second one is born n kansa throws him off the mountain peak. Third one is born..."

Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot, puts up his hand. Masterji, I have a doubt (sounding nervous n confused)

Masterji: "Ramu bete, whole India does not have doubt in mahabharata then how come u have one?"

Ramu : Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki's 8th child was going to Kill him,

WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT VASUDEV AND DEVAKI IN THE SAME CELL ?

Masterji fainted.....

9 facts still hidden from us

1) 90% of people in Australia don't drink milk.

2) Snake's vision is up to 5 km....

3) A man can touch sun if his body is completely surrounded by mercury.

4) No twins have been born up till now in Greenland .

5) Zebra doesn't have a liver.

6) All the above details are false.

7) Thanks for believing for a while.

8) Today is not April 1st.

9)But a fool is a fool on any day.

What time is it??

On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, 'What time is it?'

The tower responded, 'Who is calling?'

The aircraft replied, 'What difference does it make?'

The tower replied, 'It makes a lot of difference.. . If it is a commercial flight, it is 3 o'clock . If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to 'Happy Hour.'

Mukesh Ambani's Problems

Mukesh Ambani in his 27 storeyed home...Mukesh bhai gets up from his bed room on 15th floor, takes a swim in the swimming pool on 17th floor, has breakfast on the 19th floor, dresses up for office on 14th floor, collects his files and office bag from his personal office on 21st floor, wishes bye to Nita bhabhi on 16th floor, says "see you" to his children on 13th floor, and goes down on 3rd floor to self drive his 2.5 Crore Mercedes to office, but then he finds out that he has forgotten the car keys upstairs. But on which floor?15th, 17th, 19th, 14th, 21st, 16th or 13th?

He phones all his servants, cooks, maids, secretaries, pool attendants, gym trainers, lift attendants etc. on all the floors. There is a hectic search and lot of running around on all the floors, but the key is nottraceable.Fed up, after half an hourof frantic search, Mukesh bhai leaves in a huff in a chauffeur driven Ikon car.At 3.30 p.m late in the afternoon it is discovered that 4 days back, a temporary replacement maid had washed Mukesh bhai's pant and hung itto dry on a string in the balcony of 16th floor, with car keys in the pant pocket. The key had blown away somewhere in the high winds at 16th floor level and was never found.This was detected because of Nita bhabhi's habit of checking clothes given for ironing personally. Meanwhile, after 3 days of the incident, Nita bhabhi with all irritation writ large on her face, complained to Mukesh bhai asking him where he was roaming till 3 a.m last night Mukesh replied that he was at home all night."Then why did the helicopter land in the terrace at 3 a.m?I was so much worried. I could not sleep whole night," quizzed Nita bhabhi."Oh That helicopter". That helicopter came from Germany , sent by Mercedes people to deliver the duplicate car key"... mumbled Mukesh.

Moral of the story: Stay in one room kitchen flat only. ....... Least-Problem at Home.

The Two Trainee

Two Trainees working in the same office, one wanted some time off, but knew the boss wouldn't allow him to take leave.

He decided to act crazy so the boss would tell him to take a few days off. He hung upside down from the ceiling so the other Trainee asks him "What are you doing'?"

"Ah pretending to be ah light bulb so the boss will think ah crazy and give me time off for a few days".

Just then de boss walks in. "What the arse you doing?"

"I am ah light bulb" the trainee says.

De boss then said, "Man you stress out. You need few days off to recover...go home and come back when you feel better."

The other Trainee starts walking out the door too...

The boss asks him "Where the hell you think you're going?"

The other Trainee replied "I going home....I cant work in the dark.